Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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