He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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