his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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