my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She announced her abortion via fbk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
