i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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