dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize