I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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