To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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