Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize