I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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