I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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