this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
