i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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