why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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