I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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