yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
