What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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