The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
