My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
