so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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