i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
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I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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