so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
