How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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