i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
