Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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