My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Quick, to the slutcave!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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