I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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