Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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