fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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