i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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