clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
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Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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