There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
