She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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