we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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