Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
