hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
