Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
