Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
