But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
