you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
