I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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