gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
