I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
