She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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