he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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