i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
