Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
