so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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