I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
