there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
