Screwed.edu
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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