a queef is a wish your heart makes.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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