Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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