i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
