I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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