it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
