Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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