I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
