dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
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