Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize